Simba, Gaz and a Closet, a Narnia Parody
by Kotawings
Summary: The ultimate crossover! Characters from a bunch of different stories and movies join together to create a Narnia parody! Staring Jace, Max, Dib, Angel, Gaz and Simba; Co-Staring Zim, Iggy, Perry, Gir, Kovu and some Warriors cats!  Temporarily halted.
1. The Characters

A/N: This is probably one of the strangest ideas I've ever had… but I intend to see this all the way through. Some of the works I've chosen to pull characters from include: Maximum Ride, Mortal Instruments, Invader Zim and The Lion King. Enjoy, I guess, as you watch the poor characters I've chosen suffer…

~!#$%^&*()

Director: Well hi there, everyone! Welcome to my most recent abomination, "A Narnia Parody." In this sorry excuse for a story, you'll get to watch many different characters from various books and TV shows try and act out "Narnia, the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." Now, I will introduce you to the cast!

*Giant tube thing drops from ceiling, and spits out a bunch of characters.*

Director: Ah, here are some of the main characters!

Gaz: Why did you drag me here? You do realize that I'm going to have to destroy you now.

Jace: I agree with the scary purple-headed girl. What is going on here?

Director: Well, you are the poor souls that I've chosen to act as the main characters is my Narnia parody.

Max: Ah, I see. So, do you mind telling us who we'll be playing?

Director: Certainly! *turns to readers* May I introduce the characters who will be playing different characters! Here we have Jace from The Mortal Instruments, Max and Angel from Maximum Ride, Gaz and Dib from Invader Zim and Simba from The Lion King.

Dib: Now that you've cleared up who we are for real, maybe you could tell us who we are in the parody?

Director: Of course! Jace, you will be playing Peter, the eldest of the four siblings.

Jace: Sweet! Peter has tons of fangirls.

Director: Max, you'll be playing Susan, the second oldest of the siblings.

Max: Cool, I guess.

Director: Dib, you'll be playing Edmund, the third sibling.

Dib: Wait, doesn't he turn evil for a little while?

Director: Yes and no, but we'll get to that part later. Angel, you'll be playing Lucy, the youngest of the siblings.

Angel: Ok! I get to discover Narnia! ^^

Director: Gaz, you'll be the White Witch.

Gaz: I am NOT, getting into a white dress.

Director: Well, maybe we can make an exception. I suppose we could change it into the Black Witch or something.

Gaz: You'd better, or you will suffer horribly.

Director: Alright! Sheesh… Finally, Simba, you'll be playing Aslan, as if that wasn't already obvious.

Simba: Yeah, I had a feeling.

Director: Now, for the minor characters.

*Tube spits out more characters*

Director: Alright, here we have Gir and Zim from Invader Zim, Iggy from Maximum Ride, Perry from Phineas and Ferb, multiple cats from Warriors and Kovu from The Lion King 2.

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Director: Yes, we understand that, Zim.

Gir: I'm gonna be on TV!

Director: *clears throat* Yes, anyway… Gir and Perry, you'll be playing the beavers.

Gir: Can I be a mongoose beaver?

Perry: *That awesome platypus noise he makes*

Director: No, Gir, sorry. Zim, you'll be playing Ginarrbrik, the White… *Coughs* Excuse me, the _Black_ Witch's right-hand dwarf.

Zim: WHAT? ZIM REFUSES TO PLAY A DWARF!

Director: Get over it! *Throws a muffin at Zim* Plus, you'll get to be next to Gaz constantly…

Zim: *Looks at Gaz curiously* Eh, well, I suppose…

Director: Good! Kovu, you'll be playing the part of the fox.

Kovu: But I'm a lion…

Director: You'll just have to pretend. Iggy, you're Mr. Tumnus.

Iggy: Are you serious?

Director: Deadly. Warriors cats? You'll be the wolves in the Wh… Black Witch's army.

Warriors: *Yowl in agreement*

Director: Now for the background characters.

*Tube spits our hundreds of characters for each side's army*

Director: Excellent! I won't say who all is there, but I can say that the rest of the Flock is in that pile of characters somewhere, along with Stitch and more lions from The Lion King…

Dib: Well, can we start now?

Director: Not yet, silly! You need costumes!

Simba: I think some of us are fine already.

Director: *Thinks* Yes, I suppose that you and the Warriors are fine, Kovu as well.

Kovu: Yay! I don't have to dress like a fox!

Director: The rest of you, however…

*Main and minor characters cringe*

_About an hour later…_

Director: Alright, mini fashion show time! First up, Gaz!

Gaz: I hate you. *Stalks onstage in a puffy black dress. A black crown is on her head, and her skull necklace is around her neck*

Director: Aww, you look cute!

Gaz: *Snorts* Yeah, whatever. *Stalks offstage again*

Director: Jace!

Jace: *Saunters onstage in a blue shirt and black pants* What d'ya think? I think I look absolutely… *snickers* _Smashing._

Director: Now, now, let's not make fun of British people. Besides, I like their accents.

Jace: *Shrugs and walks offstage*

Director: Max!

Max: Ugh… *Walks onstage in a pink blouse, plaid skirt and black tights*

Director: You look great!

Max: If you say so… I'd rather wear a t-shirt and jeans. *Walks back offstage*

Director: Dib!

Dib: *Comes onstage in a brown trench coat, a tan shirt and tan shorts.* I kinda like it, it's not much different from what I usually wear.

Director: I figured you'd like having a trench coat!

Dib: *Smiles, walks back offstage*

Director: Angel!

Angel: *Skips onstage in a plaid dress and a plaid beret, curtsies* How do I look!

Director: Absolutely adorable!

Angel: *Smiles, skips offstage*

Director: Zim!

Zim: *Comes reluctantly onstage in a fur coat and hat with a fake beard, grumbling*

Director: Heh, you look just like a dwarf!

Zim: *Glares* You're just begging to be doomed! *Stalks offstage*

Director: Iggy!

Iggy: *Comes onstage with fake horns, a fake beard and pants that make his feet look like hooves.* (May I also mention that he's shirtless? *Whistles*) I don't even want to know what I look like. This is one of those times I'm glad I'm blind.

Director: Oh, you look great!

Iggy: May I assume you are referring to the fact that I am shirtless?

Director: *Laughs nervously* Of course not! Why would you think that?

Iggy: *Smirks and begins to walk offstage* Just a thought.

Director: *Clears throat* Finally, Perry and Gir!

*Perry and Gir walk onstage in beaver suits*

Director: Awwwwww!

Gir: Imma beaver!

Perry: *Awesome platypus sound*

Director: Great! Now that everyone is in costume… *Leaps up from chair* WE CAN BEGIN THE PARODY!

*Lightning and thunder*

~!#$%^&*()

A/N: Eh, eh? What do you think? I'm liking this idea more and more! It's like the ultimate crossover! If you're reading this and the first act isn't up yet, don't fret, I'm working on it as you read this. Please review and give me ideas! ^^


	2. Act 1

_Lights go up as "Don't Trust Me," By 3OH!3 plays._

Director: Cut! Cut, cut… Alright, who's in charge of sound?

Pleakly: *Hesitantly raises hand*

Director: *Throws shoe* Get the music right!

Pleakly: *Screams like a girl and runs away*

Director: *Shakes head sadly* Alright, action!

*Jace, Max, Dib and Angel stand on a platform watching a train leave. A car horn honks annoyingly*

Jace: That must be her!

*The "siblings" race off the platform and into the road, only to be honked at.*

Alec: (Driving car) Get out of the road! Idiots…

Max: Well that was rude…

Jace: The professor knew we were coming…

*A horse drawn carriage appears moments later being driven by Mrs. Bitters. Spirit is the horse pulling the cart.*

Dib: Oh, God…

*Cart pulls to a stop next to the kids.*

Jace: Mrs. Macready?

Mrs. Bitters: Unfortunately, yes. Get in.

*The kids pile into the cart while Spirit paws the ground impatiently.*

Mrs. Bitters: Now, go stupid horse.

Spirit: *Rolls eyes and takes off at top speed*

Kids: AHHHHHH!

_Later at the professor's house…_

*Everyone piles out of the cart, Spirit whinnies in amusement*

Dib: Ugh… I don't feel so good… *Holds stomach*

Gaz: (offstage) WHINER!

*The kids stumble into the house, all holding their stomachs and groaning. Mrs. Bitters shows no empathy.*

Mrs. Bitters: The rules of the house are simple, no running, no yelling, don't touch anything that looks valuable and do not, under any circumstances, disturb the professor.

*Mrs. Bitter floats off to another room, the kids make their way to their rooms. Angel sneaks a peek under one of the doors. Strange noises and crazy laughter can be heard. Terrified, Angel rushes after her "siblings."*

_The next day…_

Max: Methamphetamine.

Jace: You're seriously asking me to spell meth for you?

Max: Uh huh.

Dib: That's messed up, you know, can't we play a different game?

Angel: Peter, can we play hide and seek? Please? *Bambi eyes*

Jace: But we're already having so much fun learning how to spell drugs!

*Angel gives Jace a weird look. Jace sighs.*

Jace: One, two, three…

Dib: Come on… *Runs to go and hide*

Max: I think this is worse…. *Follows Dib*

*Angel squeals with joy and rushes off to find a hiding spot. Jace buries his head in a pillow, still counting. "Shake It" by Metro Station starts.

Director: (off-screen) PLEAKLY!

*Pleakly shrieks and the music changes to Cotton Eyed Joe*

Director: That's better.

*Max hides in a box, Dib hides behind some curtains. Angel rushes through the first unlocked door she comes upon. The music stops*

Angel: Whoa…

*She walks up to a giant shape concealed by a sheet. Angel rips the sheet off while magical sounds come from nowhere. Standing in front of her is a closet.*

Angel: The perfect place to hide!

*She rushes inside and shuts the door, going as far back as she can.*

Angel: Man, this closet is pretty deep. The professor sure likes to have lots of room for his lab coats.

*She continues back. A moment later she is in a wintery wonder land.*

Angel: Trippy…

*She wanders around and stumbles upon a random lamppost in the center of a clearing.*

Angel: Why on Earth is this here? *Puts hand on lamppost*

*Iggy stumbles through the surrounding woods.*

Angel: *Spinning around* Who's there?"

Iggy: Nobody! Mind your own business!

Angel: Well, since I got an answer, there's obviously someone here.

Iggy: Uh, no there's not, I'm just a random voice.

*By now, Angel has spotted Iggy. She runs forward and tackles him.*

Iggy: Agh! You made me drop my things!

Angel: Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe if you had stopped hiding I wouldn't have had to tackle you.

Iggy: *Picking up his various packages, some of which are probably containing highly explosive materials* Yeah, well, my business is not your business.

*Angel shivers, Iggy's face softens.*

Iggy: You look cold, why don't you come with me?

Pleakly: (off-stage) STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

Director: Pleakly! Shut up!

Angel: I guess… but only because I know you in real life.

Iggy: *Shrugs* Whatever. *Begins walking* Anyway, my name's Mr. Tumnus. What's yours?

Pleakly: (off-stage, whispering) Stranger danger!

Director: Stitch, tie him up for me, will ya?

*Stitch goes and ties Pleakly up.*

Angel: I'm Lucy.

Iggy: nice to meet you, Lucy.

_Several hours and a hot chocolate later…_

Angel: Wow, it must be getting late. I should be getting back. My siblings are probably worried about me.

Iggy: Ok then, go ahead. I'll see you some other time.

Angel: Ok! *Walks back to the closet entrance and heads back to the real world.*

_Back on the other side…_

Jace: 99, 100! Ready or not, here I come!

Angel: *Bursts from the closet* I'm here! I'm ok! I'm back!

Dib: Lucy! Be quiet! He'll hear you!

Jace: Found you!

Dib: Dang it, Lucy!

Max: What's going on?

Dib: It seems that Lucy has forgotten how to play hide and seek. -_-

Angel: But, weren't you worried? I've been gone for hours…

Jace: O_o…

Max: I think you're imagining things, Lucy. Maybe that's enough fun for now…

Angel: Wait! I'll show you! And then I can introduce you to the faun I met!

Jace: The what now?

Dib: A faun, stupid. It's like a goat man.

Jace: Oh…

Angel: Come on!

*Angel leads the other three to the closet and heads to the very back. Jace comes forward to inspect the back.*

Jace: It's completely solid, Lucy. I think you've been imagining things again.

Max: Come on, we'll go play something else.

Angel: You don't believe me?

Dib: (To himself) Welcome to the club.

*Angel pouts and refuses to talk to anybody for the rest of the day.*

_That Night…_

*Angel walks back to the closet, holding a candle. Little does she know that she's being followed by Dib.*

Dib: What on Earth is Lucy up to now?

*Angel opens the closet and smiles excitedly as the candle blows out from a gust of wind. She enters the closet and walks into Narnia.*

Dib: Dude!

*Dib follows Angel into Narnia. Once there, she is nowhere to be found.*

Dib: Lucy? Lucy?

*Bells can be heard in the distance and are quickly approaching. Dib follows the sound.*

Dib: What's that sound?

*A sled rushes by, knocking him down. Rudolph and the other reindeer are pulling the sled. The sled comes to an abrupt hault.*

Dib: (Holding his giant head) Ugh… what the…

*Zim jumps out and tackles Dib, pulling a knife on him.*

Dib: Agh!

Zim: And now, Dib-human, you are doomed!

Gaz: What now, Ginarrbrik?

Dib: AH! MAKE HIM LET ME GO! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM!

Zim: How dare you address the queen of Narnia!

Dib: I just assumed that…

Zim: Well, you assumed wrong!

*Zim holds knife threateningly and prepares to plunge it into Dib's middle.*

Gaz: Ugh, wait, I guess.

*Zim stops reluctantly. Gaz jumps out of the sleigh and lands threateningly on her feet. She walks over to Dib.*

Gaz: What's your name, big-headed boy? Not like I really care…

Dib: (To himself) This is stupid… (To Gaz) Edmund.

Gaz: And how, Edmund, did you get into Narnia? I thought I had sealed the place off…

Dib: I walked into a closet after my sister.

Zim: (Snickering) Probably didn't have to walk very far…

*Dib glares at Zim.*

Gaz: (One eye opening slightly) Your sister? Do you have any other siblings?

Dib: Why do you care?

Gaz: (Yelling) ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Dib: (Squeaking a little in terror) Four!

Gaz: (Rolling her eyes) Of course…

Dib: Lucy's the only one who's been here before…

Gaz: I don't care. Why don't you just come and warm up?

Pleakly: (Off-stage) Stranger danger!

Director: How did you get free?

*Dib shrugs and hops into the sleigh.*

Gaz: Do you want something hot to drink or not?

Dib: Not really…

Gaz: Too bad!

*Gaz magically makes a cup of hot chocolate using a drop of a special liquid and the snow on the ground.*

Zim: Hey, that's neat!

*Zim reluctantly hands the hot chocolate to Dib, giving him a glare for good measure.*

Dib: Whoa! How'd you do that?

Gaz: Like I'd tell you. (Grudgingly) But I can make you anything you'd like.

Dib: Can you make my head smaller?

*Zim and Gaz snicker*

Gaz: Anything you want to _eat_, smart one.

Dib: Oh.

Gaz: Well?

Dib: (Thinking for a moment) How about some gummy bears?

Gaz: Whatever.

*Gaz makes gummy bears the same way she made the hot chocolate. Zim hands them to Dib while snatching the cocoa away.*

Dib: Hey, I wasn't finished…

*Zim chucks the cocoa away and it turns back into snow.*

Dib: (Grimaces) Alright then…

*Dib begins shoving gummy bears into his mouth while Zim and Gaz watch, disgusted.*

Gaz: You know, Dib, I'd LOVE (makes a face) to meet your siblings.

Dib: Why? They aren't special, obnoxious really.

Gaz: JUST DO AS I SAY!

Dib: (Shrinking back) Ok, ok! I'll do my best!

Gaz: (Grinning evilly) Good, now, you see those hills? My house is right between them. Bring your stupid siblings as soon as possible.

Dib: Um, ok.

Gaz: (Kicking Dib out of the sleigh) Now go. You're voice is making me sick.

*Zim sticks his tongue out at Dib and drives the sleigh off, leaving Dib soaked with snow.*

Dib: Well, I guess I should be heading back.

Angel: Edmund?

*Dib spins around to face Angel.*

Dib: Lucy?

Angel: Oh, Edmund, you got into Narnia, too! Isn't it great! I knew you'd figure it out, seeing as you already believe in all sorts of crazy things!

Dib: Hey!

Angel: Well, we should be going back now, and since you've seen Narnia as well, we can convince Peter and Susan that it's real! Come on!

*Angel grabs Dib's sleeve and pulls him through the woods and back into the closet.*

_Lights go down_

~!#$%^&*()

A/N: What d'ya think so far? ^^ I was thinking how much fun it would be to act this out… That would be cool.


	3. Act 2

A/N: Cool, already at least three people reading this! Excitedness… Now, back to the adventures in Narnia!

~!#$%^&*()

Director: Lights up!

*Angel rushes into Jace's room and flips on the lights. Dib walks in awkwardly behind her.*

Angel: Peter! Peter wake up! Narnia is there! It's all in the closet like I told you!

*Max half walks, half stumbles into the room.*

Max: Lucy, you've just been dreaming. Go back to sleep.

Angel: Nuh uh! *Pulls Dib over* Edmund saw it, too!

Jace: *Looks at Dib disbelievingly* You saw the goat-man, too?

Dib: The faun, and no, I didn't.

Angel: Yeah, he didn't go to see Mr. Tumnus with me… *looks at Dib questioningly* where _did_ you go, Edmund?

Max: Yeah, Edmund?

Dib: *Snorts* I was just playing along, the place isn't actually real. *Turns to Jace* Sorry, Peter, I shouldn't have encouraged her. You know kids these days; they never know when to stop pretending.

Angel: Speak for yourself! *Runs from room, crying.*

*Max and Jace roll their eyes, hardly believing they're actually going along with this whole thing. Max follows Angel, calling for her to come back. Jace roughly pushes Dib onto his empty bed and follows Max. Angel continues running until she bumps into something. This something happens to be the professor. Angel, needing comforting, hugs the professor. Max and Jace stand behind her, shocked.*

Professor Membrane: Now now, little girl!

Mrs. Bitters: *Rushing into the room* I hate children! I can't get any sleep! If they continue to disrupt me, they'll be sleeping in the barn!

Professor Membrane: Calm down Mrs. Macready! I'm sure there is a logical explanation for this! *Ushers Angel toward the kitchen* Why don't you go have some hot chocolate?

*Angel nods sadly and leaves. Jace and Max attempt to sneak out and pretend they were never there, but Membrane doesn't allow that.*

_In the professor's office…_

Professor Membrane: It seems that you've upset my housekeeper.

Jace: As if she wasn't angry enough already… Don't worry, sir, it won't happen again.

Max: It's just, our sister, sir. She thinks she's found some magical land in the closet upstairs.

Professor Membrane: As unlikely as it may seem, if she isn't lying, then she's telling the truth.

Jace: But…

Professor Membrane: No buts! Now, out! I have some serious work to do! Science!

_The Next Day_

Jace: And Peter winds up, poised to take yet another wicket!

*Jace releases the ball and hits Dib smack in the center of his head.*

Dib: Watch it!

Max: Why do we have to play cricket again? We're not British…

Director: Because I said so! Keep going!

Jace: Whoops! Maybe you should pay attention!

Dib: Why can't we play hide and seek again?

Jace: I thought you said it was a kid's game!

Dib: It's better than _this_ barbaric game.

Max: Besides, we can all use the fresh air.

Dib: It's not like there isn't air inside.

Jace: Whatever, are you ready?

Dib: Are you?

*Jace rolls his eyes and throws the ball. Dib smacks it with all his might and sends it crashing through a window.*

Jace: Oh…

Max: Shit.

*The kids rush inside. They find various things toppled over onto the floor and smashed glass everywhere.*

Jace: Nice one, Ed.

Dib: I told you I wanted to play a different game!

Mrs. Bitters: (off stage) What on Earth is going on up there? If anything's broken, heads are going to roll!

Max: Mrs. Macready!

Jace: Dang it… Run!

*The kids take off in search of a place to hide, "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce starts.*

Director: Nice, Pleakly.

Pleakly: Yay!

*The kids run all over the house, somehow managing to avoid Mrs. Bitters and her wrath. After trying to escape through many locked doors, one opens for them. It's the room with the magical closet.*

Max: You've GOT to be joking.

Jace: Good, lord.

Dib: What other choice do we have? Get in!

*Jace and Max finally agree after hearing the footsteps coming terrifyingly close.*

Jace: Get back! She's coming in!

*The kids shove each other desperately as they go further and further into the closet. Finally, Jace and Max fall down and land in the snow.*

Max: What the…

*Max and Jace stand up and look around the forest in awe.*

Jace: Impossible…

Angel: Don't worry, I'm sure it's just your imagination.

Max: Lu, I'm so sorry…

Jace: But I don't suppose that sorry will cover it…

Angel: No, it won't.

*Max and Jace look at each other uncomfortably.*

Angel: But this might! *Throws a snowball at Jace*

*Max, Angel and Jace throw snowballs at each other for a moment. Max throws a snowball at Dib who looks at her angrily.*

Dib: Ow! Stop it!

Jace: Wait, a minute… *Walks over to Dib* You little liar!

Dib: You didn't believe her, either!

Jace: Apologize to Lucy!

Dib: Why should I?

Jace: Say you're sorry!

Dib: Alright, alright! *Turns to Angel* I'm sorry…

Angel: It's alright, kids these days just don't know when to stop pretending.

Max: Oh, snap.

Dib: *Sticks his tongue out*Very funny.

Max: Maybe we should go back.

Dib: Wait! Shouldn't we at least take a look around?

Jace: I think Lucy should decide.

Angel: *Gasps happily* I'd like for you all to meet Mr. Tumnus!

Jace: *Sighs* Well, then Mr. Tumnus it is.

Dib: What?

Max: But… We can't go hiking in the snow, dressed like this!

Jace: Of course not, duh! But I'm sure the professor wouldn't mind us using these! *Begins to hand out lab coats*

Dib: Really? How are those going to help?

Jace: They're better than nothing. And if you think about it, technically they're not even leaving the closet.

*The kids hike through the magical forest, stopping to take a look at the random lap post. Eventually, they arrive at Iggy's house. The door has been knocked off its hinges and the inside is wrecked.*

Angel: Oh no! *Runs into Iggy's house*

Jace: Lucy!

*The three follow Angel into the house, Angel breaks down into tears at the sight of the place.*

Angel: Who would do something like this?

*Jace notices a note stuck to the wall, he rips it off and reads it aloud.*

Jace: The faun Tumnus is hereby charged with high treason against Gazelene, high queen of Narnia, for comforting her enemies and mingling with humans. Signed Tigerstar, captain of the secret police. Long live the queen.

Max: *Taking the note from Jace* Alright, now we're going back. I don't want any part in this mess.

Angel: But what about Mr. Tumnus?

Max: If he was arrested for being with a human, I don't think there's much we can do! Besides, he gifted with explosives…

Angel: You don't understand, do you? I'm the human! She must have found out he helped me!

*Max and Jace exchange a look, Dib shifts uncomfortably in the background.*

Jace: Maybe… We can call the police?

Max: Idiot, these _are_ the police.

Jace: Well, maybe I can get Alec and Isabelle to…

Max: Don't worry, Lu, we'll think of something.

Dib: What the heck for? He's a criminal!

*A fat bird lands outside and "pssts* to them.*

Max: Did that bird just 'psst' us?

Dib: I think you're crazy…

*The kids walk outside, keeping the bird in sight at all times. The bird flies away and breaking branches can be heard. Everyone is tense, until Gir scuttles out in his beaver suit.*

Angel: It's a beaver!

Jace: Here boy!

Gir: WEEE OOOH! HI THERE!

Kids: AHHHH! IT TALKS!

Gir: Are you Miss Lucy?

Angel: O_O Yes…

Pleakly: (off stage) Stranger danger!

Director: Not again…

Gir: The other beaver says it ain't safe to talk here, so we goin somewhere else! Follow meeeee!

*Jace and Angel begin to follow Gir, Max pulls Jace back.*

Max: What do you think you're doing?

Dib: She's right! How do we know we can trust the talking robot beaver?

Jace: Well, he said he knows the goat-man…

Dib: Faun! And seriously? He's a beaver! He shouldn't be saying anything!

Gir: *Toddling back* Is everything ok?

Jace: Yes, we were just talking.

Gir: Okie Dokie! *Toddles back off*

*Jace and Angel follow Gir while Max and Dib follow reluctantly.*

Gir: Come on!

*After walking for awhile they arrive at the beaver's home. Perry walks outside, chattering.*

Max: There's two beavers?

Gir: Uh huh! It's hard to understand the other beaver, but I cans do it! *He walks into the house with Perry following him.*

Dib: Ugh…

_Inside the beaver lodge…_

Jace: Isn't there anything we can do to help Mr. Tumnus?

Gir: I dunno! They probably took him to the mean witch's house! He's in trouble, WOO!

Perry: *Chattering…*

Gir: But the other beaver says there's still hope! The lion is coming back!

Dib: Who on Earth is the lion?

*Gir switches into duty mode momentarily to better explain things.*

Gir: The lion's name is Aslan, he is the king of Narnia and he is waiting for you so you can fulfill your prophecy!

Jace: Prophecy?

Gir: The four of you are meant to destroy the Black Witch and save Narnia! Aslan is preparing your army!

Max: Wow, seriously? I already had to save Earth…

Gir: Yes, sir! *switches out of duty mode.*

Max: Mom sent us away so we wouldn't get caught in a war! *Facepalm*

Jace: *to Gir* I think you've made a mistake, we're not heroes!

Max: Well, at one of us isn't…

Zim: *off-stage* heh heh…

Jace: Yeah, thanks but no thanks.

Angel: But… We have to help Mr. Tumnus!

Max: It's out of our hands!

Jace: I'm sorry, but it's time that we were heading home. Ed…

*Jace turns to look at Dib but Dib is nowhere to be found.*

Jace: Ed?

*Max and Jace look around frantically*

Jace: I'm going to kill him…

Gir: Don't worry! The witch will do that for you! ^^

_Meanwhile, following Dib…_

Dib: They never appreciate me, I'm a genius, but they don't care… Why am I talking to myself?

*Dib enters the Black Witch's castle*

_Back with the other three…_

Jace: Damn it.

Angel: EDMUND!

Gir: The other beaver said to be quiet! We dun want the witch to hear you!

*Jace begins to run after Dib.*

Gir: Wait! The witch!

Max: We can't just let him go!

Angel: He's our brother!

Gir: But you gonna die if you go in there!

*DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!*

~!#$%^&*()_

A/N: Wow, it's REALLY hard to try and have the Pevencies carry on a conversation with Gir and Perry… I wish I had considered that before hand…


	4. Act 3

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a few days! My internet connection wasn't working! Now… BACK TO NARNIA!

~!#$%^&*()

Max: *Glaring at Jace* THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IDIOT SHADOWHUNTER!

Jace: Oh? So I knew that this was going to happen?

Max: I didn't know what would happen, which is why you should have listened to me and gone back!

Jace: Well you know what? I think that you're just a…

Angel: STOP IT!

*Max and Jace stop abruptly and look at Angel.*

Angel: This isn't going to help Edmund.

Gir: She's right! Only the lion can help the big-head boy now! WEEEEE OOOH!

Jace: Then take us to him!

Gir: Okie Dokie!

_Inside the Black Witch's castle…_

Dib: Man, it's kinda spooky in here. These statues are so life-like! Hey…

*Dib picks up a blackened stick and doodles glasses and a mustache on a statue of a lion.*

Dib: He doesn't look so scary now! ^^

*Dib continues walking. He begins to step over what appear to be several statues of common house cats. Suddenly they leap out from under him and force him down.*

Dib: GAH!

Tigerstar: Be still, two-leg! Or you'll never move again! *Snarls* Who are you?

Dib: I'm Edmund! I met the queen in the woods and she told me to come back here! *Whimpers* I'm a son of Adam!

Tigerstar: Hmm. *Nods for other cats to stand down* My apologies, fortunate favored of the queen.

*Tigerstar and the other cats begins to lead the way to the castle.*

Tigerstar: Or else, not so fortunate.

Dib: Wha?

Tigerstar: Silence! Now, right this way.

*Tigerstar leads Dib to Gaz's throne room. Gaz is nowhere to be found.*

Tigerstar: *To himself* Stinking two-leg… *To Dib* Wait here.

*Tigerstar walks off to find Gaz while Dib inspects the throne. After a moment's hesitation, he hops onto it and sits down.*

Dib: Awesome! ^^

*Gaz walks into the room with Zim close behind her. After she sees Dib in her throne she completely flips out.*

Gaz: HEY! If there's one thing you should know by now, it's to STAY OFF MY THRONE!

Dib: AHH! *Falls off of the throne* I'm sorry your highness I didn't mean…

Gaz: Enough! Now, tell me, are your sisters… deaf?

Dib: Uh… no…

Gaz: And your brother… is he… unintelligent?

Dib: No… why are you asking…

Gaz: THEN HOW DARE YOU COME TO ME WITHOUT THEM! YOU IDIOT!

Dib: O_O I… I TRIED!

Gaz: Edmund, I asked so little of you, so little. And yet you couldn't even do that. You're an incompetent, idiotic fool who needs to be thrown in a room filled with rabid weasels and…

*Gaz begins to float mysteriously in the air surrounded by lightning and swirling purple mist. Her eyes are completely red.*

Dib: I did bring them halfway! They're with the beavers!

*Gaz stops floating and returns to normal.*

Gaz: Well, I suppose you're not a TOTAL waste of skin then. Ginarrbrik? Take our guest to his room.

*Zim and Gaz laugh evilly while Dib cowers on the floor, looking positively terrified at the mess he's gotten himself into.*

Zim: *Wiping happy tears from his eyes* Heh, come, Dib-stink, to your room of DOOM!

*Zim pulls out a knife and holds it to Dib's back, forcing him to walk.*

Gaz: *Smirking* Tigerstar?

*Tigerstar comes walking into the room.*

Gaz: You know what to do.

Tigerstar: *Grinning evilly* Of course, my evil lady!

*Tigerstar yowls loudly and cats begin to assemble in the castle. Soon they are racing through the snow toward the beaver's house.*

_At the beaver's house_

Gir: Yay! We're doomed!

Perry: *chattering*

Gir: Okie Dokie! This way!

*The cats have begun tearing down the dam as Gir and Perry lead the three siblings through an escape tunnel.*

Gir: *Racing through the tunnel* WHEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOHHHHHHHH!

Jace: Hush, little robot beaver!

Tigerstar: (Off screen) I can hear them!

Gir: Come on! This way! ^^

*The brave siblings and beavers continue to race through the tunnel and finally come out on the surface. Stone animals in various positions are everywhere.*

Gir: Aww, they's not movin! D:

Jace: What happened?

Kovu: *Coming on stage* This is what happens to those who cross the witch.

Gir: It's another lion! :D

Perry: *Whipping out his secret agent hat and getting into a fighting stance.* *Angry chattering*

Kovu: Sheesh, relax! I'm one of the good guys!

Gir: But you look like the kitties chasin us! :/

Kovu: An unfortunate family resemblance. *Eye roll* But we can discuss this later, right now we gotta move.

Max: What did you have in mind?

*Kovu smirks and the view changes to that of the cats bursting angrily from the tunel. They race over to Kovu who doesn't look afraid in the most.*

Kovu: Greetings, tiny relatives! Lost something have we?

Tigerstar: Hush up, Lionclan member! I know where your allegiance lies. Now, we're looking for some two-legs.

Kovu: *chuckling* Humans, here in Narnia? Now that's a valuable bit of information, don't you think?

*The cats throw themselves at Kovu who is beaten by pure numbers. Tigerstar comes and stands on Kovu's exposed belly, sneering down at him.*

Tigerstar: *Unsheathing his claws* Your reward is your life. It's not much, but still.

*The view moves up to show the siblings and beavers hiding in the trees, Gir's mouth is duck-taped shut.*

Tigerstar: Where are the fugitives?

Kovu: *Looking defeated* North, they ran north.

Tigerstar: *Sheathing his claws* Smell them out.

*The cats leap off of Kovu, most of them leaving scratches for good measure. They rush north, noses to the ground, searching for the siblings. As soon as it's safe, the beavers and Pevencies climb down to help Kovu.*

Angel: Are you alright?

Kovu: Yeah, a couple of little house cats can't do much damage to a big guy like me! But I'm afraid I must be going.

Angel: You're leaving?

Kovu: It has been a pleasure, my queen, and an honor. But time is short and Aslan has asked me to gather more troops.

Gir: You saw the lion?

Kovu: Yes, and you'll be glad to have him by your side in the battle against the Black Witch.

Max: But we're not planning on fighting any witch!

Kovu: But… We can't go to war without you!

Jace: Guys… We just want our brother back.

_In the Witch's castle…_

*Dib is sitting on an icy floor, chained to the floor by his feet. A rock hard pile of gummy bears sits beside him, along with a frozen mug of water.*

Dib: *Inspecting a gummy bear* Well, it's better than nothing.

*Shrugging, Dib pops the gummy bear into his mouth. Several loud crunches later he attempts to swallow and winds up coughing. He tries to take a sip of water only to find it frozen solid.*

Dib: *Coughing* Seriously?

*He throws the mug to the ground angrily.*

Iggy: Hey, can I have one?

*Dib looks over, startled. Iggy sits on the other side of the wall, looking in Dib's general direction.*

Dib: Uh, sure, I guess.

*Dib and Iggy scoot over to each other and Dib hands Iggy several gummy bears. Iggy begins to eat them noisily.*

Dib: *Looking at Iggy's hooves* Mr… Tumnus?

Iggy: Yeah, what's left of him. *Looking at Dib curiously* You're Lucy's brother, aren't you?

Dib: Yeah… I'm Edmund.

Iggy: You have the same nose.

Dib: Okay then…

Iggy: Is your sister alright?

Pleakly: (off stage) Stranger danger!

Director: Seriously?

Iggy: Is she safe?

Dib: I don't know…

*The Black Witch suddenly enters, banging things around. Zim is following right behind her.*

Gaz: *To Dib* My police tore that dam apart, and your little family is nowhere to be found!

*Gaz snaps her fingers and a dozen stuffed animals with weapons enter the room. The stuffed monkey picks Dib up by the front of his shirt.*

Dib: Not the dolls!

Gaz: *Angrily* Where did they go?

Dib: I don't know!

Gaz: Then you're of no further use to me.

*Gaz snaps her fingers again and the stuffed animals continue forward, about to eat Dib. Zim is cackling in the background.*

Dib: WAIT! The robot beaver said something about Aslan!

Gaz: *Snapping her fingers to stop the toys* Aslan? WHERE?

*Iggy looks on worriedly and Gaz's eyes open a smidge in her surprise. Zim's mouth is agape.*

Iggy: He… he's a stranger here your majesty! He can't be expected to know anything!

Zim: SILENCE GOAT MAN!

*Zim smacks Iggy with the end of a spear.*

Iggy: Ow.

Gaz: I said, WHERE IS ASLAN?

Zim: Tell her now!

Dib: I don't know.

*Gaz readies her fingers to snap again*

Dib: No! Not the flesh eating dolls! D: I left before they said anything! I wanted to see you!

Gaz: *Rolling her eyes* Security?

*The stuffed animals turn to their master.*

Gaz: Release the stupid faun.

*The animals go over and use their weapons to cut through the chains holding Iggy's feet. They drag him over to Gaz.*

Gaz: Do you know why you're here, faun?

Iggy: Because I was cast for this stupid movie?

Director: Hey! Watch it!

Gaz: You're here because the big-headed buffoon turned you in!

Dib: My head's not big!

*Iggy turns and gives Dib a sightless glare.*

Gaz: Take him upstairs.

*The security animals grab Iggy and carry him away.*

Gaz: *To Zim* Ready my sleigh, Edmund misses his family.

Zim: *Saluting* Yes, sir!

Gaz: *Rolling her eyes* It's Ma'am, Zim!

~!#$%^&*()_

A/N: Lol, from here on out I'm going to try and have Pleakly butt in at some point during each act. :3 He's funny that way!


	5. Act 4

A/N: Finally, I got the time and inspiration to continue writing this! ^^ Sorry for keeping you guys waiting!

~!#$%^

Director: Alright everyone, break's over! GET BACK TO WORK!

Pleakley: Stranger danger!

Director: Pleakley… seriously? NOTHING HAS EVEN HAPPENED YET.

Pleakley: Just warming up my voice for when something DOES happen! :D

Director: *Facepalm*

GLaDOS: Do you need me to warm up the neurotoxin?

Director: As lovely as that sounds, I need Pleakley to run the sound and lights…

Stitch: *Growls at GLaDOS*

GLaDOS: Oh, how cute, a little blue monster. Do you want some cake?

Stitch: OH… Coconut cake?

Portal Fan: THE CAKE IS A LIE!

Director: Ok, ok everyone… quiet on the set… Everyone in place? Ok, Ready, set… ACTION!

*Zoom in on a mountain top where Gir, Perry, Max, Angel and Jace stand. They're looking across the land*

Gir: The lion's camp is across the river, just near the table made a stone. WOO!

Perry: *chattering*

Jace: We have to go across the river?

Gir: Dun worry! The river's been frozen for a long time!

Jace: But it's so far…

*Back to the Black Witch's castle…*

*Dib is being lead through the hall of statues again, and is shocked to find a new addition. Iggy stands there, frozen solid. Dib is horrified.*

Gaz: *rolling her eyes* When you're ready, son of Adam.

Zim: *shoves Dib along to the sleigh*

*The three of them are off, Zim yelling his name consistently.*

*Back with the others…*

*The kids are quite away behind the "beavers," who are urging them to hurry.*

Jace: If they tell us to hurry one more time, I'm gonna turn them into big, fluffy hats!

Angel: *giggling* They are getting a little bossy.

Gir: Oh! Someone's coming!

*The three kids and Perry spin around, the latter whipping out his secret agent hat momentarily.*

Max: Run!

*Everyone runs away from what appears to be the Black Witch's sleigh. Finally they duck into a small cave and go quiet, hoping they weren't noticed. They wait a little while before Gir offers to go and check if it's safe.*

Gir: Imma go see if the people are gone!

*Gir scrambles out and over the snow, disappearing for several moments before returning.*

Gir: C'mon out! There's someone here ta see ya!

Pleakly: STRANGER DANG… *cough cough choke*

Director: GLaDOS… I SAID NO NERUOTOXIN.

GLaDOS: I'm sorry, but I just couldn't help myself. Care for some cake?

Pleakly: I'm ok… *wheeze*

*The kids and perry scramble out of the cave, standing there before them is Santa Claus and his sleigh, and a very, VERY happy Gir.*

Gir: WE GONNA GET PRESENTS! WEEEEE OHHHH!"

Angel: Merry Christmas, sir!

Santa: It certainly is, Lucy, since you have arrived.

Max: Dude, somebody pinch me. Either I'm dreaming or I'm on something that I didn't know about…

Jace: We thought you were the witch…

Santa: Well, I apologize. But in my defense, I have been driving one of these, longer than the witch. Now, I'll give you your gifts!

*Santa reaches into his sleigh and lifts out an enormous bag with ease. Inside are heaps of toys and several non-toy looking items. He takes out a flask and hands it to Angel.*

Santa: *very seriously* This is the juice of the fireflower. One drop will cure any injury.

Jace: *under his breath* Or make you drunk.

Santa: And though I hope you never have to use it…

*Santa reaches behind his back and pulls out a dagger. He hands it to Angel as well.*

Angel: Thank you, sir. But, I think I could be brave enough…"

Santa: I'm sure you could.

Jace: Humans, arming their young since the beginning of time.

Max: *smacks Jace upside the head*

*Santa reaches into his bag again and pulls out a bow, arrows, a quiver and a horn. These he hands to Max.*

Santa: Susan, trust in this bow, and it'll not easily miss. And this horn, blow on it, and wherever you are, help will come.

Max: Thanks.

Santa: Now, Peter.

*Santa pulls out a sword and a shield. He hands them to Jace.*

Santa: The time to use these is near at hand.

Jace: *Unsheathes sword and admires it* Hell yeah. Thank you.

Santa: These are tools, not toys. Bare them well, and wisely. Now, I must be off. Winter is almost over, and things do pile up when you've been gone a hundred years! Long live Aslan!

Gir: DON'T I GET A PRESENT?

Santa: *Tosses a rubber piggy to Gir* Merry Christmas!

Stitch: Does Stitch get a present?

Director: Stitch, it isn't actually Christmas, be quiet!

*Santa drives his sleigh off while the others call goodbye to him.*

Angel: Told you he was real.

Jace: On a more serious note… He said winter was almost over…

Max: So?

Jace: So, if we have to cross the river…

Max: Damn it.

*Switch to a scene overlooking the river. Most of the ice has gone, and what's left looks very dangerous to cross. The kids and the beavers stand overlooking it.*

Jace: We need to cross, NOW.

Max: Wait, can't we just think about this for a minute?

Jace: WE DON'T HAVE A MINUTE!

Max: I was just trying to be realistic.

Jace: No, you're trying to be smart, as usual.

Iggy: *offstage, drinking a sprite* Oh… Things are gonna get ugly…

Max: Why you little…

Angel: Guys… stop fighting…

*Cats can be heard yowling offstage. The kids hurry down the slope.*

*Switch to view several dozen angry cats sniffing the ground, and yowling. Nearby, Gaz, Zim and Dib hear them as they approach. The cats take off, hissing and screeching the entire way. The kids and the beavers are hurrying down toward the river as fast as they possibly can. They finally emerge onto the ice, which crackles threateningly beneath them.*

Gir: I dun like water…

Perry: *chattering*

Gir: The other beaver says he's gonna go first…

*Perry walks across the ice (like a boss) and the others begin to cautiously follow.*

Angel: Oh no!

*The cats have arrived and they're ready for a fight. They run just above, making you wonder why the hell the kids didn't just use that way to cross the river.*

Jace: Run!

*The kids and "beavers" run across the half-frozen river but it's too late. They're surrounded with snarling, angry cats. Tigerstar jumps down in front, back arched and an evil grin on his face.*

GLaDOS: Oh, violence. This should be good.

*Perry leaps out, secret agent hat on. Unfortunately, another cat was just able to tackle him and knock his hat off before anyone could notice. Jace draws his sword.*

Tigerstar: Put that down, twoleg. Someone could get hurt.

*Jace hesitates while they slowly back away.*

Tigerstar: Leave now while you can, and your brother leaves with you.

*Jace continues to point the sword threateningly at the cat.*

Max: Stop, Peter! Maybe we should listen to him!

Tigerstar: *Evil laugh* Smart girl.

GLaDOS: Oh, I like that cat!

Gir: Dun listen to the scary kitty!

Tigerstar: C'mon, this isn't your war. All we want is for you to take your family and go.

*Jace still doesn't back down.*

Max: Look, just because some man in a red coat hands you a sword doesn't mean you're a hero! Just drop it!

Gir: NO! DUN DO IT! DUN DO IT! D:

Perry: *Insistent chattering*

Tigerstar: What's it gonna be, twoleg? I won't wait forever, and neither will the river.

*On cue, the waterfall begins to break through the ice, sending Angel into a panic.*

Angel: Peter!

*Jace looks up at the shattering waterfall. He makes a split-second descion.*

Jace: Hold onto me!

*Jace plunges the sword into the river just as the ice breaks apart. Tigerstar and the other cats mewl in horror. The water rushes down, engulfing everything. Gir screeches in horror.*

Director: Gir, your beaver suit is waterproof! You'll be fine!

*The kids hold on tightly as they are dragged downriver by the piece of ice and the sword. Perry and Gir flounder about beside them before helping them to dry land. Jace and Max stand up but Angel is nowhere to be found. Jace is only holding Angel's coat.*

Max: Where's Lucy?

Angel: Has anyone seen my coat?

*Angel appears a little ways downstream, doing her best to stay warm.*

Gir: I dun think you'll need those coats anymore…

*The landscape begins to drastically change around them, going from looking like they were dead to looking like they were in the middle of spring within seconds. Soon, the kids have shed their coats and the world is green and alive around them.*

*Cut to a scene of Gaz, Zim and Dib overlooking the waterfall and river. Gaz is not at all happy.*

Zim: It is so warm out! Filthy human planet!

Gaz: *Evil death glare at Zim*

Zim: Zim will uh… Go and check the sleigh… Yes… I AM ZIM!

*Zim wanders off, leaving Dib and Gaz by themselves. Soon the cats appear, dragging Kovu along by his tail. He's incredibly beaten up.*

Tigerstar: Your majesty, we have found the traitor. He was rallying your enemies.

Gaz: Nice of you to drop by. It sounds as if you helped my (ugh) _cats_ last night. Perhaps you can help me now.

Kovu: Forgive me, your majesty.

Gaz: Shut up! Do NOT waste my time with flattery, stupid cat.

Kovu: Not to seem rude, but wasn't actually talking to _you_.

*All eyes turn to Dib, who was quietly backing away. Gaz is majorly pissed off now.*

Gaz: *pointing her dagger at Kovu* Where are the humans headed?

Kovu: *Nervously backing away*

Gaz: *Prepares to turn Kovu into stone*

Dib: Wait! Stop! *Rushes in front of Gaz* The beaver said something about a stone table, and that Aslan had an army there!

Gaz: *Intrigued* An army?

Kovu: *Looking at Dib in disbelief*

Gaz: Thank you, annoying brother.

Director: Gaz, stick to the script!

Gaz *Rolling her eyes* I'm glad this, _thing_ got to see some honesty… Before he dies!

*Gaz turns poor Kovu into stone, and Dib looks on horrified.*

Dib: No!

Gaz: You stupid annoying… *Slaps Dib across the face*

Pleakly: Ouch.

Gaz: Think about who's side you're on, maggot. Mine, *turns Dib to see the petrified Kovu* or theirs.

*Gaz released Dib and turns to the cats.*

Gaz: Go on ahead, gather the faithful. If it's a war Aslan wants… *spins her dagger around and petrifies a butterfly* It's a war he shall get.

GLaDOS: Oh, I can't wait! I shall warm up some neurotoxin in celebration.

Director: GLaDOS, NO MORE NEUROTOXIN. I can't have you killing everyone!

Wheatley: Um, I don't really think she cares whether you want her to do it or not…

Stitch: Does Stitch get his cake now?

Portal Fan: THE CAKE IS A LIE!

~!#$%^

A/N: Ah… I love putting random characters in this story. Portal FTW. In celebration, we shall all eat cake, that ISN'T a lie, and take a bath in neurotoxin.


	6. Party of Insanity

A/N: Bonus chapter of randomness! TIME FOR INSANITY.

~!#$%

Director: All right! That's a wrap for today. Go and do whatever it is you people do when you're not being tortured by me. *Goes into personal trailer*

(We are now leaving the script format behind and are switching into a normal story format.)

The various fictional characters cheered, happy that another day of filming was over. They began to go their separate ways, but someone held them all up.

This someone was Iggy.

"Guys, we should have a party!" he exclaimed, jumping up on a stack of crates. "Who knows when we'll all be together like this again?"

The crowd of characters began murmuring, some in agreement, others in disagreement. Of course, there's always a spokesperson for each side…

"A party? That could be fun," GLaDOS considered. "I could bake a cake."

More than one person declared that that wasn't the safest idea.

"Ouch, that hurt," GLaDOS said, not sounding hurt at all. "Maybe I'll just bring confetti then, and a surprise."

"Zim is against this party idea all together!" Zim shouted. "Filthy humans and their filthy fun!"

"While I have to agree with you on the filthy humans part," GLaDOS began, "I have to disagree about fun. There's nothing better than laughing as an entire building full of humans dies after inhaling neurotoxin."

"Oh, that does sound… _fun_," Zim commented reluctantly. "But a human's idea of fun is much different than our idea of fun."

"Wanna bet?" Iggy asked, grinning.

"Zim has no Earth monies to bet with!" Zim exclaimed.

Dib face-palmed. "He didn't mean literally!"

"Can Stitch have cake?" Stitch asked, padding up to GLaDOS.

"Oh, it's the little blue monster again. Of course you can have some cake. Just assume the party escort submission position and…"

"Don't listen to the crazy robot!" Dib cried.

"You're a terrible person," GLaDOS scolded.

"Yes, and crazy and big-headed," Zim added.

"My head's not big!"

"ENOUGH!" Max yelled. "Let's just take a vote. All for a party, raise your hand, or, err, paw or hoof or whatever you raise."

The majority of the crowd raised their various appendages, while those who had no appendages simply rose up.

"Yay! Party, party, PARTY!" Pinkie Pie cried, hopping up and down.

"Wait, what?" Max exclaimed, watching the bouncing pony. "When did _ponies_ get here?"

"They're so cute!" Angel cried, running over and hugging Fluttershy.

"Pff, cute? I'm cool, not cute!" Rainbow Dash retorted.

"Does it matter?" Max asked, trying to regain control of the crowd. "Let's get organized, ok?"

"I'll bake the cupcakes!" Pinkie cried, running off.

"Cupcakes?" GLaDOS asked. "No, those aren't nearly _evil_ enough. I'll go make an actual cake. I suppose I'll pick up some confetti while I'm at it as well." GLaDOS was off before anyone could stop her, although it wasn't as if they'd try.

"Stitch will get coffee!" Stitch exclaimed, running off with a psychotic laugh. The rest of the characters dispersed in similar ways, everyone going off in different directions to get decorations, music, games or food. A few hours later, everyone was back and setting up the party in a convenient, giant, empty lot. A dance floor had been set up, there was a humongous buffet and balloons, streamers and confetti were all over the place, courtesy of GLaDOS and Pinkie Pie.

"Now that everything's set up," Max began…

"LET'S PARTY!" Pinkie Pie squealed.

Everybody cheered and music began blasting from portable speakers. The first song that came on was familiar to most everyone…

_Party rock is in the house tonight,  
>Everybody just have a good time.<br>And we're gonna make you lose your mind,  
>Everybody just have a good time.<em>

Zim's foot started tapping the floor, and he looked at it in shock. "What is happening?" he cried. "Foot, I order you to stop!"

"Zim, YOU MORON…" Dib began.

"I am NOT a MORON!" Wheatley cried.

"I wasn't talking to you…" Dib explained… looking at the AI strangely.

"Oh, ok. Carry on then, with whatever it is you humans do."

"Anyway…" Dib said, turning back to Zim. "That's just how most creatures react to hearing music. Your foot is tapping to the beat."

_Everyday I'm shufflin'_

"Beat? Music?" Zim asked.

"Yeah. Look at everyone in the center of the room. See how they're moving around to the beat of the music?"

"Zim is confused."

Dib sighed. "Maybe you should experience it for yourself. Come with me."

"Me, follow you?" Zim scoffed. "Please, foul Earth thing. Zim shall lead the way."

Dib made no objection as Zim took the lead toward the pulsating crowd of fictional characters. By now _Party Rock Anthem_ had ended and a new song was coming on.

_There's a stranger in my bed,  
>There's a pounding in my head.<br>Glitter all over the room,  
>Pink flamingos in the pool.<em>

"Ugh, I hate this song," Dib grumbled.

"Pinkie, Dash, GET OFF THE TABLE!" Came a shout. Dib didn't bother finding out who had yelled it.

"What is the meaning of this music?" Zim asked as they neared the crowd.

"Well, generally, people like listening to it and dancing to it," Dib explained. "They also like to sing along and listen to the lyrics."

"Lyrics?"

"The words sung in the song."

_Last Friday night,  
>Yeah we danced on table tops,<br>And we took too many shots,  
>Think we kissed but I forgot.<em>

"So, this song is talking about illegal activities then?" Zim asked after listening to the song for a little while.

"Sorta," Dib said. They had reached the crowd now. "Well, start dancing!"

Zim hesitated before starting to move a little bit from side to side with the beat. As the song went on, he got more and more into it. Dib left Zim by himself then, not really feeling like hanging out with his enemy.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Everyone stopped suddenly. The director was standing at the edge of the lot, looking VERY unhappy. The crowd didn't move and was absolutely silent.

"You all should know better than to throw a party… without me! Turn the music back on, the life of the party is here!"

Everyone broke into a relieved laugh and a new song started. The cast and crew partied all night long, not even caring that they had to film the next day.

~!#$%^

A/N: Cupcakes… if any of you out there are pony fans, do NOT go searching for any story or any THING fan made that is entitled "cupcakes." If you have read it before, you'll know what I'm talking about. You will never look at a certain pony the same way again.


	7. Act 5

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I WILL see this thing through to the end, I promise! Life's just gotten in the way, that's all. Let us continue on our adventure!

~!#$%

Director: Alright everybody! Time to get back to work! And somebody clean up the confetti from the floor…

Stitch: Stitch no feel good…

GLaDOS: Did you eat too much cake? If you feel dizzy, feel free to pass out.

Pinkie Pie: I'm dizzy! But that's just because I've been spinning in circles!

Director: Ok then… Pleakly, LIGHTS!

(Pleakley turns the lights on, unfortunately, they're pointed right at his face.)

Pleakley: BRIGHT! VERY BRIGHT!

Gamzee: mOtHeRf***iN mIrAcLeS bRo.

Director: Da hell?

Terezi: H3H3H3H3.

Director: O_O

Pleakley: *whimpering* Stranger danger!

Tavros: uH, dON'T mIND uS,,, kEEP oN dOING, wHATEVER iT iS, yOU'RE dOING,,,

Director: Why do all the freak shows find me? What the heck are you guys supposed to be, anyway?

Aradia: Tr0lls. Why d0 y0u ask?

Director: …No reason… Alright everyone… ACTION!

*The kids and beavers are now walking across bright green grass towards a camp. As they begin to walk through it, many different creatures begin looking at them.*

Max: Why are they staring at us?..

Angel: Maybe they think you look funny!

*The kids continue walking until they come to a stop in front of Twilight Sparkle.*

Jace: *Pulling out his sword* We have come to see Aslan.

*Twilight nods knowingly and the ever growing crowd begins to bow down as the entrance to a nearby tent moves. A few moments later, Simba exits the tent looking pretty dang regal. At the sight of the lion the three kids bow as well.*

Simba: Welcome, Peter, son of Adam. Welcome Susan and Lucy, daughters of Eve. And welcome beavers, you have my thanks.

*Gir and Perry smile.*

Simba: But where is the fourth?

*The kids share a knowing, slightly hesitant look.*

Jace: That's why we're here…sir. We need your help.

Max: *under her breath* I don't believe we're asking a lion for help… *out loud* We had a little… trouble along the way.

Jace: Our brother's been captured by the Black Witch.

Simba: Captured? How could this happen?

Perry: *chattering*

*Chattering translates to: He betrayed them, your majesty.*

Rainbow Dash: Then he's betrayed us all!

Simba: Peace, little pony. I'm sure there's an explanation.

Jace: It's my fault, really. I was too hard on him.

Max: We all were.

Angel: Sir, he's our brother…

Simba: I know, little one. But that only makes the betrayal all the worse.

*Offstage, many glares are shared between various characters who had been betrayed at some point. For the reader's sake, I refuse to say which ones. I'm sure you'll know for yourself who was glaring at who.*

Simba: This may be harder than you think.

*Later, Jace is standing on a hill as the sun slowly starts to sink in the sky behind him. He's looking off into the distance at a castle. Simba walks up next to him.*

Simba: That, is Cair Paravel. The castle of the four thrones, in one of which you will sit, Peter, as high king.

*Jace looks down at the ground in disbelief.*

Simba: Do you doubt the prophecy?

Jace: No… That's the problem. Sir, I'm not who you think I am!

Simba: Peter Pevency, formerly of Finchley. Beaver also told me you were planning on turning him into a hat.

Gir: It's true!

*Jace grins*

Simba: Peter, there is a deep magic more powerful than all of us that rules over Narnia. It defines right from wrong and governs all our destinies. Yours, and mine.

Iggy: (Offstage) IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIFE!

Director: *Throws boot at the back of Iggy's head*

Iggy: Ow! What the…

Jace: (Continuing as if nothing happened) But I can't even protect my own family!

Simba: You brought them safely this far. Didn't you?

Jace: …Not all of them.

Simba: Peter, I'll do what I can to help your brother. But I need you to consider what I ask of you. I too want my family safe.

Kovu: (Offstage) Do I count as family?

Kiara: Of course you do!

Kovu: THEN WHY IS MY CHARACTER STILL A STATUE?

*Switching scenes to the Black Witch's camp*

*Dib is currently bound to a gnarly old tree, a piece of rope in his mouth. Zim walks around him, an evil sneer on his face.*

Zim: Is our little prince uncomfortable? Is he too good for this treatment?

Dib: *Glaring at Zim*

Zim: Special treatment for the special boy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Zim leans in and grins right in Dib's face*

Zim: Isn't that what you wanted?

*Switching back to Aslan's camp*

*Angel and Max are down by a small river, talking and otherwise enjoying themselves. Max admires the nice dresses and clothes they've been given.*

Max: Mom hasn't let us dress like this since before the war.

Angel: We should bring her one back. No… A WHOLE TRUNKFULL!

Max: (Smiling sadly) If we ever get back.

*Angel looks down sadly.*

Max: (After noticing Angel's look) Oh, I'm sorry I'm such a downer now. We used to have fun together, didn't we?

Angel: Yeah… Before you got all boring.

Max: Oh really?

Angel: Yeah, really.

*Max bends down and splashes a ton of water at Angel, catching her completely off guard. Angel screeches and splashes back. Before much longer an entire water fight has broken out. They finish and they climb back up the bank to their towels. Max grabs one revealing Tigerstar, who yowls as soon as he's been spotted. Max and Angel scream and stumble backwards.*

Tigerstar: (Padding forward) Please don't try to run, we're tired, and we'd prefer to kill you quickly.

*A shit ton of other cats begin emerging from the surrounding foliage, teeth barred and fur fluffed.*

Max: Yeah, like we'll listen to a bunch of evil house cats.

*Max spots her horn on the ground not too far away. Thinking quickly, she covers Tigerstar with the towel and makes a mad dash for it.*

*Switch view to Jace and Simba*

Jace: (Hearing Max's horn) Susan!

*The two of them take off running*

*Switch back to Max and Angel, whom are currently hiding in a tree and screaming as the cats try to get to them*

Jace: (Running through the stream and pulling out his sword) Get back!

Tigerstar: (Motioning to several other cats) Come on! We've already been through this before! We both know you haven't got it in you.

Max: (From up in the tree) Peter, look out!

Jace: (To himself) No dip, Sherlock…

*The cats are now circling Jace, hissing and claws at the ready. Suddenly, Simba bursts from the trees and takes out just about all of them. More creatures are close behind, and Twilight Sparkle lights her horn up, readying her magic. She aims at Tigerstar.*

Simba: No, this is Peter's fight.

Tigerstar: (To Jace) You may think you're a king… But you're going to die… LIKE A DOG! (He leaps at Jace who is trying to suppress a grin.)

(Actually, scratch that, EVERYONE is doing their best not to laugh at the ridiculousness.)

Karkat: (Offstage) THIS IS STUPID.

*Jace runs his sword through Tigerstar as Max and Angel proceed to flip out.*

Max and Angel: Peter!

*They jump down and run toward Jace, who was knocked down. They shove Tigerstar off of him and help Jace sit up. They hug.*

Simba: (Releasing the remaining cats) Follow them! They'll lead you to Edmund.

*Twilight Sparkle nods and motions for the troops to follow her. They all take off after the cats.*

Simba: Peter, clean your sword.

*Jace does as he's told and kneels in front of Simba. Simba places a paw on his shoulder then puts it back down.*

Simba: Rise, Sir Peter Wolf's bane. Knight of Narnia.

Dave: (Offstage) pfft big deal. i'm the knight of time.

Director: …and cut! That's enough for now everyone. We're getting close to the grand finale!

Everyone: Wooooo!

Director: And I guess we'd better welcome these newest characters. They say they're from Homestuck. I guess the ponies are gonna be staying as well. Now, take a break, BUT NO MORE PARTIES.

Everyone: Awww, ok.

~!#$%^&*

A/N: Just a note for those of you who have not read Homestuck and are wondering why their text is weird… Everyone in Homestuck has a typing quirk and I decided to carry those quirks over into this story. So yes, I know that Dave's lines are missing punctuation and capitalization. :P


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